Bad Romance
by AceLovesAnime
Summary: In the middle of the Kira Investigation, L shows up with somebody else to help them with the case. Except that person happens to be Beyond Birthday, and he happens to be far too close to L for Light's comfort. One-sided Lawlight. LxBB. {Credit for the Cover Image goes to the appropriate artist.}
1. Crushed

There was absolutely no reason for Light's irritable crush on Ryuzaki. In fact, he was more than aware of how stupid his adoration was. It made him an easy target for the detective's deductive skills and lowered his chances of successfully eliminating crime from the world. He was a God, yet he kept being side-tracked by something as stupid as hormones…

He was pulled from his thoughts as L finally decided to grace the Task Force with his presence. The strange thing was, he wasn't alone this time. His companion wasn't anything special to look at, aside from the old burns that were mostly-covered by make-up. L took a seat in his usual chair, sitting in that odd way he always did. "Good morning, Light,' Ryuzaki finally spoke, gaining everyone's attention as he added, "This is Beyond. He'll be staying here with us for the time being."

"Why?" the question launched out of Light's mouth before he could stop it. It was such a trivial thing that everyone else had nodded and went back to work. That wasn't good enough for Light. He wanted to know who this other guy was and just why he was here.

L's reaction was dangerously slow as he turned to look at Light and replied, "The same reason that I allow Misa Amane to be here, Light. Enough questions." It was only then that Light realized that Beyond hadn't sat down, but was instead standing behind L with a hand on his shoulder_. That bastard. That stupid, stupid bastard…_

_Who the fuck is this guy?_

_Why is he even here?_

_Why is he touching L?_

_I don't like this at all._

_Where did L find this freak?_

"Is everything alright, Light?" L's voice interrupted Light's internal monologue, "You seem.. anxious today."

Light wanted to absolutely scream. He wanted to demand answers from the detective. But… that would look slightly suspicious. Okay, it'd look really suspicious. So, instead, he replied, "Oh, it's nothing, Ryuzaki."

The detective cocked his head to one side, thumb pressed to his lip as he told Light, "I'm now approximately 18% sure that you're Kira. Silence is very suspicious, Light."

**_Really? Because I'm 100% sure that you're an ass._**

That's what Light wanted to say, but he didn't, "That's so… ugh, never mind." Deciding that being direct was better than trying to weasel information out of L, he asked, "So where did you two meet?"

"Los Angeles," Beyond answered for them, cracking a smile as he looked down at the detective.

L had noticeably tensed at the other's words, but it was clear he was trying to hide that, "I was working on a case in LA. There were… extenuating circumstances."

Light scoffed aloud without meaning to, then asked, "Really? Extenuating circumstances? I'd love to hear about them." The teenager had never seen Ryuzaki look as annoyed as he did in those moments. His obsidian eyes were sharpened into daggers, but he looked like he was trying to bite his tongue (metaphorically).

Much to Light's surprise (and L's horror), Beyond stepped towards Light and plastered on a grin as he introduced himself, "Beyond Birthday, convicted serial killer and hater of all things Kira." As it were, nobody else was in the room with the trio, so it was BB, L, and Kira - probably the worst trio in history - all alone.

Light choked on his words, unable to come up with a proper come-back to what Beyond had said to him. Who introduced themselves as a serial killer? What in the Hell did this guy think he was doing? How—

"Good morning, Light," his father's voice broke the tense air of the room as he entered it. Beyond smirked at Light before turning to look at L's computer screen, and Light was pretty sure he saw L trying not to laugh. Just like that, Light was silently forbidden to continue their conversation. He could already tell that this was going to be a long day…


	2. Ninety-Nine Percent In Love

Light's father looked between the three with concern, "Am I interrupting something?" He was pretty sure he'd just walked into an argument that was being craftily hidden, but it was hard to say…

"Not at all, Mister Yagami," Beyond put on a charming smile as he introduced himself, "Beyond Birthday; I'm here to help with the investigation." Soichiro blinked in confusion as he shook hands with the stranger, trying to smile.

L's voice was crisp as he spoke up, "I told him everyone's names already - don't mind that." Much to L's annoyance, BB had a nasty habit of using people's names before they'd even said them. It made things.. very complicated, to say the least.

* * *

><p>Within those next few minutes, the rest of the Task Force arrived and got to work on the Kira Investigation. Everybody settled into their work after being introduced to Beyond (though they were told he was 'a friend of Ryuzaki' instead of a serial killer). An hour or so had passed when Beyond muttered, "You know, I'm really surprised your percentages aren't higher in relation to him."<p>

"What do you mean?" Ryuzaki, who was clearly distracted with his computer, asked. He turned slightly in his chair to look at Beyond, curiosity touching his voice just a little.

Beyond shrugged innocently, shooting a smirk in Light's direction as he replied, "Oh, he just seems more suspicious to me. I was thinking closer to 27%, personally."

Light had never seen L agree with anyone telling him he was wrong before, so he was shocked when L said, "You might be right. My numbers have been off before, haven't they?"

"They certainly have," Beyond replied, and he started to chuckle in a horribly dark way. Light could hear an edge of insanity in the tone, it was a sinister kind of sound that Kira could personally relate to. However, the serial killer was quick to excuse himself before the madness in his tone could be noticed by the others, "I'll be back, if you'll excuse me…" He was chuckling still as he left the room and, as soon as beyond was out of sight, Light was pretty sure he saw L cringe. Somehow, that small movement troubled Light even more than anything else he'd seen that strange morning.


	3. Who Are You?

Light was officially sure that Beyond was a compete psycho. He couldn't decide how he was supposed to take any of this day's events, but he did know one thing: he wanted to talk to L, alone, about Beyond Birthday.

So he waited, not-so-patiently, for the other Task Force members to find somewhere else to be. Strangely enough, Beyond hadn't returned yet; Light was starting to wonder if he was ever going to come back, actually. But, with this moment of privacy, Light asked, "So… what's the deal with him?" He paused, then rattled off a list of questions, "Who is he, why is he here, and what—"

"—His name is Beyond, which I already said," L interrupted, "And he's here because I wanted his help with the case. He's an expert at Criminalistics, you see…"

Light's eyes narrowed as he argued, "Why don't you stop and tell me the real story, L? There's more to him than that - I know that; you know that. I'm not that stupid." He grit his teeth in annoyance, perhaps even jealously, as he added, "Why is he here? What's the point behind all of this? A criminal trying to catch another criminal?" Light scoffed, shaking his head, "Seems a little redundant to me." Before the detective could start to argue with him, the honors' student added, "And why are you letting him touch you? You don't even… you don't even let Watari touch you."

For a moment, L was completely silent, obviously wounded by the unfortunate fact that Light had pointed out. Taking a deep breath, he sighed heavily, "Beyond Birthday is considered to be the world's greatest criminal, much as the world sees me as the greatest detective - three detectives, that is." He paused for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought, and then he abruptly moved on to say, "What does it matter to you who I let touch me, Light? If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

Completely baffled by the new information, Light decided to puzzle it out later. For now, he had something else to argue about, "Why would I be jealous?" Okay, he kind of was, but he couldn't tell Ryuzaki that.

"You tell me, Light," L told him, sounding almost tired as he spoke. This, of course, only annoyed the teenager more.

Narrowing his eyes, he spat, "I'll say it again, you don't let anyone touch you! What makes him so different? You tell me that, L."

"It's a long story, Light, and I don't feel like talking about it right now," Ryuzaki told him with a sigh, shaking his head, "Don't you have somewhere better to be?"

That bastard. He was a complete bastard! How dare not answer me!

"Fine," Light growled, "Don't tell me." With that, he stormed out of the office and into the hallway—

There Beyond stood, a manic grin on his face as he spun a small switchblade in his hand, "Good afternoon, Light."

Light absolutely hated this guy and he hadn't even known him for a full twenty-four hours yet. "What's with you and Ryuzaki?" He had to know, he just had to; none of this was adding up!

"Well, Light," BB took a few steps towards the murder suspect, a dark little chuckle in his voice as he told him, "Ask Lawli where he got the name Ryuzaki to begin with." Just like that, Beyond was disappearing down the hall and into the other room to talk to L.

_Lawli…_

_What kind of nickname was that?_

_Is that a clue?_

_Was it supposed to be a clue?_

_Maybe he's just screwing with me…_

_Damn it, I wish I knew for sure._


	4. Caught In The Act

It was a few hours later when Light Yagami returned to Headquarters. To his surprise, nobody was in the computer room; maybe they'd went out. Still, Headquarters was never completely empty; somebody had to be here, somewhere. Deciding to look around, Light wandered the building's various hallways, trying to find some sign that someone was here.

It was on the top floor that he found what he was looking for - sort of. There was a door with L's insignia on it and Light could see that the lights were on in the room. The door was just partially cracked, enough that he could peer in without being too obvious about it—

He immediately wished that he hadn't looked at all.

To Light's shock, Ryuzaki was pushed up against the far wall of the room, Beyond holding him in place as he assaulted the detective with kisses. Rage immediately flashed through Light and he had to bite back a curse.

I knew it! I knew something was going on with them!

I really hate this guy. He shows up out of the blue, screws with me, and then I find him making out with L. This couldn't possibly get any worse!

"You're not supposed to be on this floor, Light," Ryuzaki's voice pulled Light from his internal ranting. The honors' student blinked, his eyes refocusing as he realized that L was now standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and an exasperated look in his eyes. Beyond was leaning against the far wall, smirking.

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, Light forced himself to come up with an excuse, "Sorry, Ryuzaki, I was looking for you guys; nobody was in the computer room…"

He knew that L didn't believe him; he could tell by the fact those black eyes settled into a glare. What he couldn't tell, however, was if L knew he'd seen… that. In the background, he could hear Ryuk laughing hysterically - no doubt at Light's expense.

"Well, you found me," L shrugged, not seeming to care one way or another as he added, "Best get back to work, then." He turned to look at Beyond and added, "Come on, break's over." With that, L pushed past Light and made his way down the hall. Beyond was quick to follow, smirking at Light on his way through.

* * *

><p>Beyond and L had went back to the computer room and Light had went outside for a moment for 'some fresh air'. He was actually leaving to yell at Ryuk for a while, who was still all-too-amused by the scene that Light had just witnessed. "I can't believe you," Light spat, "Who's side are you on, Ryuk?"<p>

"I'm not on anyone's side, I've told you that before," Ryuk reminded him, swallowing an apple core before adding, "And c'mon, Light, that was funny!"

Kira glared at the shinigami as he snapped, "It wasn't funny at all, Ryuk. I can't believe that—"

"I'd watch what you say about him, Light," Ryuk told him with a hint of warning in his voice, "He knows a lot more than you think he does."

Frowning, Light asked, "What's that supposed to mean—"

"—What's what supposed to mean?" Beyond's voice interrupted just as the door clicked shut behind him. Light jumped in surprise even as the other criminal explained himself, "Your girlfriend's inside looking for you."

Misa. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be Misa? Entertaining the tiny Goth was the last thing that Light wanted to do right now. He needed to finish this conversation (not that he thought Ryuk was going to be any help at this point) and he needed to get answers!

Instead of saying anything of that, he put on a smile and said, "Oh, thanks." With that, he walked back into Headquarters with Beyond close behind him, resisting the urge to absolutely scream in frustration.


	5. In The Eyes Of Misa

A few minutes later, Light, L, Beyond, and Misa found themselves sitting in the livingroom at Headquarters. L was perched in one of the armchairs, Light and Misa were on the sofa, and Beyond was leaning against one of the walls. "It's nice to meet you, Beyond," Misa had been saying, having been introduced to him by L and Light.

"Likewise, Miss Amane," Beyond's lips curled into a small smile as he popped a strawberry into his mouth; he'd stole the piece of fruit off of L's cupcake. He glanced between the others before looking at Ryuzaki and saying, "Tell Watari to pick up more of those next time you talk to him."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Because," Beyond reminded his companion, "Watari doesn't exactly like me, if you recall." With that, he forced the conversation to move on by saying, "Excellent work in your last photo-shoot, Miss Amane."

Misa grinned at the stranger as she chirped, "Oh, thank you!" She giggled and asked, "So, you're here to help with the investigation, right?"

Beyond nodded in confirmation as L told her, "He's what he likes to call an unprivate-investigator."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Light asked, finally speaking up, but Misa was already interrupting him:

"—That's so cool!" Misa had cheered, grinning at Beyond as she got out of her seat and went over to talk to him, "I bet you get to do all kinds of neat things." She looked between Beyond and L before asking, "So where did you two meet?"

"LA, apparently," Light told her, rolling his eyes at her excitement. This wasn't that big of a deal, so why did his girlfriend have to be so dramatic?—

_"Oh, that's so **romantic**!"_

Reactions filled the room.


End file.
